 The one and only Nosferatu Are you a fan of the 1922 silent film classic Nosferatu? Do you like imposing castles? Are you interested in vacationing in Slovakia? Even if you answered a firm “no” to all these questions, we recommend that you keep reading and keep an open mind. We are not ashamed to admit that we are head over heels, Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch, Billy Bob Thorton wearing a necklace filled to the brim with Angelina Jolie’s blood IN LOVE with Slovakia (FOOTNOTE: for younger readers, there was a time when Tom Cruise was married and when Billie Bob dated Angelina). It’s one of our top places to visit when we want to relax and not just work in a different time zone.  The entryway oozes Old World charm and incipient vampire shenanigans. Strangely enough, most Americans and Brits wouldn’t even consider Slovakia to be a prime vacation destination. Some snootier Europeans might even view it as a “flyover” country. Though we find these assessments baffling, it’s their loss, as we like our favorite sites less crowded. Because, regardless of whether you like nature and hiking (e.g., the Tatra mountains), good wine (Devín, Veltlinske Zelene ), or good food (e.g., Bryndzové Halušky), you can’t beat Slovakia. But then there are the castles. Oh, my, those castles... Literally three of the top five castles of the Proper Degenerate team are found in this tiny little country barely the size of Mississippi. Though we will have future posts on the darkly beautiful castles of Slovakia, we will start with a real winner: Castle (Hrad) Orava (pronounced oar-ah-vah). Several scenes from Nosferatu were shot here, and you can see why. It’s ruggedly beautiful, seemingly remote, and creates a vibe of “old European aristocrat”. At the highest level that tourists can ascend, there is a little display with a statue of that old, blood sucker, Count Orlok.  An atmospheric shot of some of the surroundings Even if you don’t care about its connections to one of the most iconic movie vampires of all time, the castle is well worth a visit. It remains one of the best-preserved Medieval structures in all of Europe. With a bit of imagination, you can gaze through a tiny window into what it must have been like to live as a Medieval lord, lady, or peasant.  The curved tunnel entrance to Orava If you lived here, you’d have been well protected. Orava Castle was designed for defense. High on a hill, it’s difficult to imagine trying to conquer this place only using horses, men, and medieval weaponry. Though there are no shortage of staircases, there were none back in the day. You would have had to scramble up ladders and ropes with the dexterity of a ninja squirrel just to find your way to the entrance. Once you got there, the entry into the castle courtyard is essentially just a curved stone tunnel. “Why isn’t it straight?”, you might ask. Well, this was so that Orava Castle’s troops could quietly hide just past the curve, unseen from any potential invaders. It’s a well-known fact that conquest gets a bit more difficult when you’re unexpectedly showered with arrows. Now let’s discuss a small sliver of Orava’s history. In a past post we created a cocktail inspired by Countess Erzsébet Báthory (1560 C.E. – 1614 C.E.), sometimes called the Blood Countess. Well, it turns out that the guy who arrested her and tried her accomplices - György Thurzó- owned this castle. In fact, a letter box where he and his wife kept their love letters and other correspondence remains preserved in a bedroom. Thurzó, like Erzsébet, was a wealthy noble. He eventually reached the rank of Palatine of Hungary, second only to the king in terms of administrative power. Even more interesting, he and Erzsebet’s husband, Ferenc Nadasdy, were lifelong friends. György and his first wife were good friends to Erzsebet as well, at least until her arrest for serial murder. The fact that he was the one to imprison her in her own castle (Čachtice Hrad) was likely a complicated decision for him.  Save your energy for the last few sets of stairs to the top Regardless, György Thurzo called Castle Orava home for many years. Old György remains there to this day, lying in final repose in the castle crypt. If you want to visit his final resting place, though, you must go visit the castle in summer, as it is otherwise closed to tourists.
Along with history, grand structures tend to also become associated with myths, legends, and tragic tales. Orava Castle is no exception, and may even be a bit unique. For instance, “White Lady” tales are a dime a dozen. Many places are known for them, even Altoona, Pennsylvania (see our post on The Ghost of Wopsy here). However, Orava not only has a “White Lady” myth (i.e., the wife of a Master Donc), but a “Black Lady” one as well. The Black Lady in question is Erzsébet Czobor, the second wife of György Thurzó. She was apparently a clever woman and a talented administrator. Running entire castles wasn’t too challenging for her even when her husband was away fighting wars and trying to lock up Medieval serial killers. She was also quite imposing. For instance, many castle owners might try to keep their unruly servants in line through docking pay, firing them, or possibly imprisoning them. That wasn’t scary enough for Mrs. Czobor. She instead threatened to haunt them all after she died. Some of her workers apparently didn’t take this curse seriously, though. As a result, she is said to peer over the castle walls to this very day, spending her immortality trying to keep worker shenanigans to a minimum. Say what you will about her, but she had her principles. Getting There Hrad Orava is very easy to find using google maps or other online sources. Once you get to the town, follow the signs to the large parking lot festooned with souvenir booths and located within sight of the castle. Just be aware that parking fee is a little steep for small town Slovakia (i.e., a whopping seven euros at our last visit). We have it in good authority that the town made the decision to significantly raise the rates because tourism comes with other costs (i.e., annoying tourists), so this made us feel a bit more empathy. It might also be helpful to keep in mind that you need to be in decent shape to walk all the way to the top. You certainly won’t have to scramble up rope ladders, but the paths are steep and the steps are many. Thus, prepare for your trip a few months in advance using a StairMaster or take your time and be patient. You need to save a little energy for the last round of steps to get the best views and the full Orava experience (i.e., the mannequin of Count Orlok). We would rate this as 8/10 for castle experiences. Also, please note that the gift shop – which looks incredible – was closed both times we visited. We have no idea why, as it was supposed to be open. We surmise that it could generate a good bit of extra revenue, and we definitely had euros in our pocket waiting to buy black and white castle prints and Nosferatu neckerchiefs.. There is an online shop where you can purchase some – but not all – of the fun items we saw in the window. Side Trip Orava is within driving distance of many other castles (including Hrad Beckov). Don’t miss out on the opportunity to try some Slovakian wines while you’re there, either. It’s underrated and very affordable. Conclusions: Even if you couldn't care less about György Thurzó, Erzsébet Báthory, or Nosferatu, this would be an amazing side trip for a vacation if only for the architecture and views. Links: https://www.oravskemuzeum.sk/
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Having just visited the annual Romanian Food Festival in Potomac Maryland and gorged ourselves on sarmales (stuffed cabbage leaves), mamaliga (Romanian polenta), and chocolate salami (we'll talk about these in a future post), we had Romania on our minds. So, of course, we eventually wound up talking about Dracula. No, not the hypnotic and lascivious vampire count played by Hungarian actor, Bela Lugosi, but the real Dracula, Vlad III, son of Dracul (AKA son of the Dragon). For our money, the real Dracula is even more interesting than the fictional one. “But, Bram Stoker’s Dracula was immortal and drank blood and had a trio of sexy bisexual vampiresses living in his castle” you might say. Well, that’s all true, of course. However, old Bela’s character never ran sharpened 12-foot spikes through so many of his enemies’ sensitive orifices that he created veritable forests of the impaled. He was like a macabre Johnny Appleseed, but planting Turkish warriors on spikes instead of fruit trees. This is also what gave him one of his nicknames, Vlad Țepeș, or “Vlad the Impaler”.  The impaled. Though his methods seem brutal, he lived in a different time where murder and torture were part of life. Old Vlad was also a very important figure in the fight for keeping the Ottoman Turks from invading Christian Europe. He’s therefore viewed by many Central and Eastern Europeans as a hero. Though he’s quite famous, a lot of bad information exists. For instance, tourists flock in large numbers to Bran Castle near Brașov, Romania. Billed as “Dracula’s Castle” there are tours, trinkets, and lots of vampire-themed fun. However, to the best of our knowledge, there is no hard historical evidence that Vlad even stayed there, let alone made it one of his homes. Bran Castle is still very much worth a visit, but we have a more exciting Romanian option for you…  Poenari Citadel If you have access to a car, don’t mind walking up a lot of steps, and are not too afraid of bears, we recommend that you plan a little trip to Poenari Castle in Arefu. More a citadel than a “traditional” castle, it has some real Vlad the Impaler history. It has been historically verified that he stayed here. To be fair, though, the site has plusses and minuses. As for upsides, the top of Poenari Citadel is breath-takingly beautiful, with unobstructed views of the Carpathian mountains. It also has some fun impaled mannequins that are perfect for Facebook pics.  A few of the 1,480 steps to the top of the citadel. As for downsides, to get to this fun place, you will have to climb 1,480 steps. That is not a typo. It’s step after step after step. As for other downsides, prior to their putting in a fence around the stairs, several tourists every year were reported to have been attacked by Romanian brown bears. We can only imagine that they were annoying American and UK tourists posing for selfies, though we can’t verify this in the official reports. So, if you like history, are a little morbid, don’t mind driving on the curvy Transfăgărășan rood through the mountains, and are up for a little Romanian adventure, give Poenari a try. We highly recommend it.  It's hard to beat these views. Side Trips
Though a bit of a hoof (i.e., 2.5 hours away from Poenari), if you want to see bears and contribute to a good cause, we HIGHLY recommend making Libearty Bear Sanctuary a stop. This charitable group has improved the lives of poor bears that were kept in zoos, tourist shops, and as house pets. The Libearty people are doing really great work and have a lot of land for their rehabbed bears. You can find them at: Zarnesti, H9VP+74, Zărnești 505800, Romania |
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