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- Is the path to hell paved with refreshing Czech pilsner?? - Czechia (i.e., what Czechs call the Czech Republic) is one of our top three favorite countries to visit. It’s an even better destination when you don’t have work to do there, but it is great regardless. If you fancy castles, amazing beer, dumplings, and strange tourist sites, Czechia is difficult to beat. There are so many great castles (hrady) dotted around the country, but one, Houska, is undeniably unique. In many ways Hrad Houska doesn’t make any sense. For instance, most castles are built over a consistent source of water. After all, how terrible would it be to suffer a siege on your castle and have nothing to brew tasty pilsner beer with? Yet, Houska has no source of water except for cisterns to collect rain. Odd… Hrad Houska also lacks a kitchen. So where would a hungry soldier bake bread to enjoy his refreshing pilsner with? Strange… Further, most people building a castle would probably want the defensive side of their walls to face outward. This generally helps if you want to repel invaders. However, Hrad Houska’s defensive walls face inwards. Perplexing…  A highly stylized wood burn of Hrad Houska. All of this seems odd or even illogical until you add the missing premise… it was clearly built to cover up the gateway to hell. Yes, dear readers, a bottomless pit of eldritch danger lurks a mere hour’s drive north of Prague, and under the location of the present-day castle. Oh, the legends that surround this place. The tales speak of half-human, half-animal creatures that would emerge at night from the accursed pit and lay waste to any people unfortunate enough to cross their paths. This situation clearly had to change. It’s bad enough when a megachurch or Applebee’s moves into your neighborhood, let alone a fiery pit to hell. There’s only so much a real estate market can take before property values decline. The locals still speak of how prisoners were used to build the fortress. Builders apparently conscripted one poor convict to be lowered by rope into the accursed chasm. Upon hearing his plaintive screams, they pulled him back up only to find him aged thirty years in as many seconds. His hair turned whiter than Anderson Cooper’s and his skin looked as if he was any elderly Hollywood celebrity in the midst of a month-long Botox shortage. It was terrifying to witness. Even after the castle’s construction, the dark rumors persisted. It was even occupied by Nazis until 1945. We may never know what evil experiments, medical, occult, or otherwise, took place within its cold stone walls.  The chapel and alter directly over the gate to hell. Although faded from centuries of exposure, there are intricate wall paintings all over the site. Now, how much of these fun legends are true? Well, to be fair, there are some alternate histories out there. Some are backed up with historical and archaeological data that describe other motives for the castle’s construction (why do scholars always take the fun out of things… ?). However, we prefer to live in a world where Hrad Houska is our last line of defense from the many horrors of hell. Even better (i.e., a PD film script idea), we hope that, nearby, there lives a secret sect of plucky Czech warrior-poets who risk their lives every day to protect us from the ever-present scourge of demonic half-man beasts. Hopefully there will be no intensification of evil energy or an unexpected earthquake which breaks the castle’s ancient foundations. If so, things could get scary, and we may just see what these Czech warrior poets are willing to sacrifice to save the world. If we can get Christian Bale on board, we might just have a go picture here. Think of the special effects… Getting There Hrad Houska is located about an hour’s drive north of Prague and PRG airport. Anyone – even children, who were particularly tasty to the half-man beasts – can now visit the castle and get a guided tour. Keep in mind that it is closed between November and March. If you travel there in bad weather, please make sure your car has good tires as you will be on some potentially slippery roads. There are ways to get to the castle using public transportation from the airport, but it would take approximately four hours each way and you would still need to walk almost 3 kilometers from your last stop. Thus, we recommend renting a car or taking a very expensive Uber ride instead. You can also bring dogs to the castle with you, and we’re sure they’d enjoy it, but there is a modest fee for canine accompaniment. Once you’re there, the gateway to hell can be found below the chapel, more specifically where the alter now stands. The art adorning the walls is also worth a close look, as you will find depictions of armed soldiers and man-beasts scattered throughout.  Replicate weapons of war on display in the castle. We can only imagine some of these were particularly useful against animal/man beasts. Side Trip Throw a rock in Czech Republic and you’ll hit beer that is better made, and tastier, than 99% of mass produced American beer. Thus, on your way back to Prague, you might consider driving a bit further south to the charming village of Velké Popovice. There, you will find the Kozel Brewery. They also have a great brewing tour (we’ll cover it on the blog at some point). Look for the big goat and you won’t miss it. Just make sure to book the brewery tour ahead of time, especially in the summer. There are English tours, too. Link: https://hradhouska.cz/ Conclusions: This is a very fun day trip from Prague. Whether you like architecture or just enjoying strange sites, we think it’s definitely worth a visit.  Wall painting inside the castle showing a hunting scene. Clearly even normal animals around the castle were dangerous, too.
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Should You Visit Bulgaria? Bulgaria is the dark horse tourist destination of Europe. The wine and food are great and there are massive amounts of interesting history to be found scattered within its Balkan borders. Thracian temples, Greek and Roman ruins, waterfalls, and any number of other attractions await your curious eye. If you visit in summer, you might also see fields of sunflowers and the famous Bulgarian roses as you travel around the beautiful countryside. The people are the real draw, though. Not only are they interesting and bright, but many Bulgarians speak English better than Americans. They also have that dark and brutally honest Slavic sense of humor that especially resonates with people who pen blog posts on strange subjects. One of us visits Bulgaria at least once a year for work/fun and, to be frank, shudders with angsty pangs of fear and foreboding at the very thought of telling people about the wonders of Bulgaria. What if it becomes a hot new travel destination? What if its capital of Sofia becomes infested with rowdy English and American tourists? Oh, the horror… But, alas, some experiences are too good to keep to oneself.  Traditional Bulgarian food at a restaurant in Sofia. Sharena Sol For this first of what will be many posts on Bulgaria, we’ll focus on an interesting food item: sharena sol. Translated as “colorful salt” or “patterned salt”, it may look a bit drab at first sight. If you see it in a quaint wooden bowl at a traditional Bulgarian restaurant, you might not even think to try it – or even know how – unless you are dining with a clued in local. Appearances can be deceiving, though. First off, we should discuss the pronunciation. For about a year and a half we incorrectly pronounced it “shah-REENA soul.” Though this rolls off the tongue, it sounds more like the lead singer of a 2nd rate Motown band who may have opened up for The Temptations in 1964 than a world class ingredient. The proper Bulgarian pronunciation is closer to “shah-rah-nah SOL”.  This is the good stuff: sharena sol crafted by the magical hands of Baba Snezhana. So, what is sharena sol? In a nutshell, it is a very clever spice blend. The key ingredients include dried summer savory, paprika, fenugreek, thyme, and salt. These are just the barest of spicey beginnings, though. They will be the most prominent flavors in commercially available versions. However, in order to truly experience sharena sol, you shouldn’t purchase it from Lidl or Billa supermarkets. The true wonder of this ingredient comes when it is has been imbued with the spice secrets known only to Bulgarian babas (i.e., grandmothers). Though we can’t prove this, we are fairly certain that whenever a Bulgarian woman becomes a baba, she is automatically inducted into a society far more secret than the Illuminati or Skull & Bones. After a lengthy and harrowing initiation ritual, she then receives instruction in the arcane art of finding, preparing, and blending earthly ingredients into the celestial spice blend known to us mere mortals as sharena sol. We can only assume that the penalty for revealing these secrets to outsiders is immediate and painful death. This is the only explanation for why it is far easier to march 1000 cats in a straight line than it is to get a baba to reveal her spice recipe. We’ve heard rumors, of course. These were always spoken in furtive whispers and, of course, far away from the unnaturally sensitive ears of any babas. We eventually discovered that it’s possible that oregano, corn flour, honey garlic (a foraged Mediterranean herb), cumin, pepper, parsley, ground pumpkin seeds, and other ingredients could be a part of this baba sorcery. Sadly, we later learned that three young Bulgarian men died in the process of getting us this information. Their bravery will be honored. Always. Има голяма чест в смелата смърт. Tasting Notes: Sharena sol is a veritable taste explosion. Regardless of the blend, and whether it’s homemade or produced in a factory, summer savory is the dominant flavor. If you’ve never had it, savory is very savory. It’s almost like natural monosodium glutamate in the sense that it can perk up any similar flavors. In the commercial blends of sharena sol, you also clearly taste paprika and a good hit of fenugreek. The fenugreek funkiness lets you know you’re eating something more exotic than anything that can be found at your local McDonalds or Subway. The combination is far greater than the sum of its parts. The baba blends are the most powerful and flavorful. We’ve had the pleasure of trying two different batches of sharena sol from an unusually gifted Bulgarian spice sorceress by the name of Baba Snezhana. You could use only ¼ teaspoon of her paranormal blend sprinkled over an entire pizza and literally taste sharena sol in every bite. This is not an exaggeration; it’s easy to overdo it. Fortunately, the homemade versions have far less salt than commercial ones, so they’re healthier for you, too. Culinary Uses: You can use sharena sol to elevate just about any savory dish. Try it on fried eggs, potatoes, French fries, grilled dishes, or anything with a tomato-based sauce. It’s also a nice way to season vinaigrettes that will leave your guests envying your staggeringly creative culinary ability. This stuff is so good and versatile that it is smart to always keep a little container of sharena sol within reach while travelling. You never know when you may need to make bland travel food more exciting. However, the traditional way of using this spice blend may be the best. Therefore, then next time you bake a loaf of bread, try dipping a warm piece in sharena sol. The next morning, you could even sprinkle a pinch over some buttered toast for a tasty breakfast. Warnings: This may be obvious, but please don’t fall for the pretty layered versions of sharena sol sold in Bulgarian gift shops or at airports. Real babas never layer their spices, but always mix them together. The commercial versions are far superior to the tourist versions, too.  Some of the many brands of commercially available sharena sol. Conclusions: In conclusion, if you go to Bulgaria, please don’t ruin it. While you’re there, you should definitely make friends with a baba or someone who is lucky enough to have their own baba. Treat her kindly and ask her if she’ll let you sample some of her secret sharena sol. Just remember not to ask too many questions about what’s in it. After doing so, you may be tempted to take a baba home with you so you can benefit from her many talents. However, you should know that they don’t take kindly to baba-napping. They have a particular set of skills… skills they have acquired over a very long career… skills that make them a nightmare for would-be baba-nappers like you. Getting Sharena Sol If you can’t visit Bulgaria, you can find the commercially prepared sharena sol on amazon or other online outlets.  Fresh summer savory, probably the most important ingredient in sharena sol. Certain things creep people out. Mold is one of these. Our negative reactions to mold seem to be inborn, and at times, eminently reasonable. There’s just something about those discolored patches and strange hues that get to us… And, of course, we’ve all been hit with a wave of nausea upon discovering a festering bowl of moldy food lurking in a dark corner of the refrigerator. It’s scarier than that famous fridge scene from Ghostbusters… What do we do now? What else might have become secretly infected? Maybe we should just move instead of dealing with this funky putrescence? After all, no one wants to wind up in the news as a fatality of some silly-named microorganism. Who would envy having, “They were killed by aspergillus” as their epitaph?  Look at that lovely cheese… Yet in spite of this, many of us love cheese, and when you get right down to it, most cheese is just dried out milk that is moldy and salty. It’s a bit ghastly if you think about it but true nonetheless. Marketing people build up all sorts of fancy terms (e.g., affinage; umami) to mitigate this reality, but the stubborn truth remains. All this being the case, how could something as gross as mold become palatable, even appetizing? Well, we would argue that it takes openness on the part of the eater and skill on the part of the creator. Oh yeah, and it doesn’t hurt to be French.  Close up of the camembert. French cheese is an experience from the beautiful packaging to the deliciously moldy disks of goodness. There are so many good cheeses out there. Some are for the adventurous turophile (i.e., fancier of cheeses) such as the Stinking Bishop or Roquefort, whereas others (e.g., the English cheddar) share a broader appeal. The famous French Camembert sits somewhere in the middle. This soft, surface-ripened cow's milk cheese hails from northern France, most likely Normandy. It is similar in appearance to Brie cheese, which is a bit easier to find in most US and UK grocery stores. The taste of a good Camembert is more intense than Brie, though, and can hold up to more flavorful wines and other accompaniments. We like this cheese a lot. It is in this context that we unexpectedly ran across an amazing variation: Camembert affine au Calvados (i.e., Camembert refined with fine apple brandy). This is one lucky cheese. Most humans aren’t treated this well… After it undergoes a careful ripening under constant attention, the Camembert is lovingly bathed in local Calvados. After the cheese absorbs the complex flavors and aromas from the spirit, it is removed and gently coated in a tasteful layer of breadcrumbs. This not only adds a contrast of flavor and texture to the soft, unctuous cheese, but allows it to stand up to a good reheating without melting all over your pan. Those clever French people...  A Calvados tasting at our favorite cocktail bar in Brno, Czech Republic. It has the amazing name of “The Bar That Doesn’t Exist” (i.e., Bar, Který Neexistuje). Tasting Notes: On first pass, it smells like regular old Camembert, but some differences start to arise. There are hints of something fruity. You cheese heads will especially like the off-the-beaten-path flavor of this special creation, though. It is creamy and rich (i.e., a lot of milk fat), slightly sweet, and earthy with hints of apple, oak, and brandy. Its softness makes it easy to spread on fresh French baguette or Italian loaves. Apart from bread, we would recommend pairing it with a nice strong white wine (preferably oaked), Brut Champagne, or maybe a little glass of Calvados to tie everything together. It’s a great way to end a meal and start a dessert course. Conclusions: If you’re bored with the same old cheddar, Swiss, and Monterey Jack cheeses, pick this up the next time you’re on the continent. You won’t be disappointed. We might try to make our own domestic cheater version whenever we get a new bottle of Calvados and will let you know how it goes. We may just get a boozy but soggy cheese.  Before a New Year’s Eve meal in France with Champagne and Calvados Camembert. |
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