Kozel Pivo: Goat Beer

Even wooden goats will climb on top of anything.

There’s nothing quite like international travel all by your lonesome. Though it was strange to do at first, I came to really enjoy it. You can obviously do this in your home country, but there’s something special about being in a foreign land, left to your own devices, and doing your best to live like the locals even though you don’t know much of the language or many of the customs. To be fair, this can lead to some bad surprises. When I was solo in Romania one time, I purchased what I thought to be a lovely pot of yoghurt for breakfast. When I opened it up the next morning, I made the horrifying discovery that it was actually sour cream. Not the taste sensation I had planned to start my day with. However, sometimes solo travel leads to good surprises, even if they are very stressful and don’t feel good at the time. This was the case on my first trip to the Kozel Brewery in Velké Popovice, Czech Republic. ​

Fancy signs on the Kozel Brewery tour

Having been a fan of Kozel beer since our first visit to Prague, we always planned to visit the brewery. However, due to some scheduling snafus, only one of us could actually make it there. I knew from Czech friends that this was a popular tour, so I booked my ticket well in advance. I was even able to get onto an English tour, as my Czech is wildly insufficient for understanding the nuances of brewing beer. 
 
Unfortunately for me, traffic was horrible that day, and I only got there a few minutes before the start of the tour. I literally speed-walked to the gift-shop, walking past a very cute goat in the process. It was PACKED, with people buying t-shirts, coasters, and other Kozel-themed merchandise and chatting animatedly in Czech, Slovak, German, and several other languages.  Looking at the time, I had about a minute to use the restroom before the tour would be called, so I chanced it.  
 
As I came back to the hall, I saw a line of people wearing brewery vests going outside. My keen eyes detected backpacks and baseball caps as well, and my amazing powers of deduction led me to conclude that brewery staff were probably unlikely to be wearing high-heeled shoes to work. “Oh my god!” I thought, “I’m missing the tour!”. I raced after them and approached the petite older woman who appeared to be in charge. I started out good, “Dobre den” (Good day – a typical polite Czech introduction) and then quickly went off the rails, “Uh… English tour?” and pointed animatedly at the ground. She seemed annoyed (rightfully so) and made it very clear that I needed to also be wearing one of these vests or I couldn’t go on the tour. So, I raced back inside, found the box of vests, and caught up with the crew. ​

Feeling as if I’d already made a bad and very stereotypically American first impression, I sulked toward the back of the group and tried to be invisible. After some introductory remarks that I couldn’t follow, we went into a room that looked like a very fun bar, with multiple beer taps, dozens of Kozel beer mugs, and a lot of anticipatory excitement. ​

From what I could piece together, the man behind the bar was one of the master brewers at Kozel. He was going to show the different types of beer pours that are popular in Czechia.  He demonstrated four types and, indeed, he knew what he was doing. There was a pour that was British style, with no foam, called Čochtan. Then there was one that was almost entirely foam called Mlíko. In between these extremes were the Hladinka (20% - 25% foam ) and Šnyt  (½ foam and ½ beer) pours. 

I was trying to take mental notes of the relative angles of the mug and the tap. All the while, I must say that I had a vague feeling that something was wrong. I couldn’t quite place it. It was sort of like the experience of watching any of the first three Star War films (i.e., Episodes 1-3). Something was very wrong from the get-go of each, but it was difficult to figure out why until a little time passed and that stupid Jar Jar Binks made his appearance. 

Hladinka pour of a Kozel Černý beer in a souvenir glass at the home bar.

Then, something very unexpected happened. The bartended called up a member of the group to learn the first Czech pour. That was very surprising. Having been on several Czech beer tours, I had never seen this level of audience participation. That’s when I finally made sense of that strange, uncanny feeling… They were all speaking Czech! I was on the wrong bloody tour! 

My mind raced to the land of horror and catastrophe. Jesus, am I going to get kicked off the tour? Is getting on the wrong beer tour a capital offense in Czechia? They take their beer seriously here… Will they still let me pet the goats if I offer to pay the full fee?   ​

Though I’d seen this tour online, there were no English versions available when I would be at Velké Popovice, so I opted for a “standard tour” that did not involve learning to pour Kozel beer. 

I noticed one of my fellow tourists spoke German to a friend. I discreetly asked him auf Deutsch what the tour start time was. Yep, I was on the wrong fucking tour. Oh, the barrage of Czech obscenities I imagined would be coming from my tour guide. Then, to make matters worse, the bartender pointed at me and called me over to the tap. This was a dilemma… If I went up there I would be drawing attention to myself and my non-Czech language skills, but by saying no, I would also be drawing attention to myself. I decided to go with option number one and nervously learned how to do the Mlíko pour. I sort of cocked it up, getting a bit too much beer on the bottom, but it was a passable pour (or at least that’s what he indicated to me, probably out of Slavic pity). 
 
Then, the tour guide lady comes over and asks for my name. “This is it!” I thought catastrophically. I whispered my name to her. Instead of checking for it against her list, finding a discrepancy, and then getting cross with me, she instead pulled out a blank certificate, wrote my name on it, and lets me know that it will be provided at the end of the tour. “I just might make it through this damn tour without incident after all”… I start to relax a bit. After the pouring and drinking was done, we go outside again to see the three famous Kozel goats. I might have petted a couple of them through the cage, but one was aloof.  
 
So, what did I learn from this? First, Always check that you’re on the right tour. Second, I look stupid in a brewery vest. Perhaps most importantly, though, this experience reminded me that sometimes anxiety and stress experienced in the moment can quickly evaporate, leaving one with good memories and a snazzy certificate proving to the world that I am indeed a master Czech beer pourer. ​

The infamous certificate. It translates to: "Congratulations on the Successful Completion of the Goat Beer Brewing School"

Tasting Notes 
We’re most familiar with the two types of Kozel most likely to be sold outside of Czechia. These are the light lager (Ležák) and the dark lager (Černý).  
 
My personal favorite is the Ležák. It is a very refreshing, perfectly balanced beer. They use three different malts, and it is pleasantly sweet, like a really good loaf of French bread, and almost has a subtle vanilla pudding quality at the end. However, it is well hopped and nicely bitter as well (i.e., not too bitter and nowhere near an American IPA). They use the beloved Czech Premiant hops in an elegantly restrained manner. This is not fruity (or sulphury, for that matter). It is a solid, clean, tasty workhorse (workgoat?) of a beer. 
 
The Kozel Černý is the favorite choice of the other half of the PD team. The Černý is a dark beer, but you shouldn’t expect a stout flavor. It has some very nicely caramelized malts – four, to be exact – and mild hops that combine to form a very nice and rich beer with character. Not as refreshing as the Ležák, it’s more of a fall sipper than a summer chugger. The folks at Kozel even recommend serving it with some powdered cinnamon on top of the foam, preferably using one of their goat stencils (free templates can be found on their website). Though we were initially aghast at this very American-sounding idea, we tried it. We can verify that it isn’t a bad addition for a holiday beer vibe. It certainly beats most pumpkin-spiced beers we find in the US in terms of fall cheer.  
 
Where to find it outside of Czechia 
It is super easy to buy Kozel beer in the UK and the rest of Europe. We’ve found it carried in a number of grocery stores and even convenience stores/gas stations. Just look for bottles of Pilsner Urquell and scan around there for the cheeky goat graphic.  It’s also possible, but significantly more difficult, to purchase Kozel in the US. To be honest, we’ve only found it in European grocery stores, and it’s always a pleasant surprise when we do. One of the few reliable sources we’ve found is at the Taste of Europe grocery store in Gaithersburg, Maryland. So, if you’re ever in the Washington DC area, you can give it a shot.  

To book your own tour at Kozel:
​www.velkopopovickykozel.com/#brewery-tours