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Hidden away in plain site near Bulgaria’s southern border with Greece is one of the most amazing ancient stone sites: Perperikon. The complex was carved out of rock of the East Rhodope mountain, making it one of the most monumental megalithic structures in the world. Its mysterious moniker derives from the Greek word hyperakion, or “very large fire”. Regardless of the name, the history associated with the site is incredible. Over millennia it has been used as a temple of worship for several different gods, a city center, an acropolis, a place to consult with oracles, and the site of battles. Inhabited since at least 5000 BC, it has been occupied by the Greeks, the Thracians, the Romans, Christians, the Goths, and even the Ottoman Turks. Just about everyone has passed through this place at one time or other.  Shattered columns with a gorgeous view. If you are determined enough to make a visit (see tips below) you can literally walk in the footsteps of giants. You can walk the same paths as those who shook the ancient world to its core. Their names are still recognized today. Whereas most of us have been or will be forgotten – a sad, but all-too-true reality – you have probably heard about Alexander the Great. Yes, that Alexander the Great. In the year 334 BC, this ambitious guy visited Perperikon in order to speak to the oracle of Dionysus. It was here where he learned that he would conquer the world. That's far more impressive than the predictions found in your average fortune cookie... The steps he likely walked up during his visit are still visible today, or at least that’s what the legends say. Regardless, Alexander’s oracular prophecy happened just before his and his ragtag Macedonians’ famous invasion of Persia. You have to admit that that old oracle was pretty spot on. A bit later (i.e., around 59 B.C.E.), Gaius Octavious also sought out the oracle’s wise counsel. He was told that his son would rule the world. Who was his son, you may ask? None other than the man who would later be known as Emperor Augustus. These Dionysian oracles aren’t too shabby. In vino veritas? One of the Proper Degenerate team visited Perperikon in person and, of course, off-season. Who wants to deal with other annoying tourists? It was a crystal clear day with miles of beautiful scenery as well as spy breathtaking views of the temple ruins. There was also an opportunity to make a brief but meaningful connection with a temple puppy who apparently lives near the parking lot, sadly bereft of any consistent human companionship. Perperikon is a legitimately special place. It evokes a strange feeling of peace and solemnity that isn’t found in many other sites, with the possible exception of Delphi and some choice ruined castles. All those worries and distractions that your silly mind tends to fret about seem to melt away in the presences of all this Thracian majesty. The walk up to and from the Temple is quite beautiful too.
Tips: Perperikon is an out-of-the-way destination, but very much worth it. However, you will definitely need a car, as we are not aware of public transport to the site from the major cities of Bulgaria (e.g., Sofia; Plovdiv). This should be part of the fun, though. Add some adventure into your life, for Dionysus’s sake and enjoy the remoteness. Trust us, you don’t want this place to feel like Athens or Rome where ancient sites are mashed together with modern buildings and Pizza Huts. We at the PD team like our ruins ruinous so that we can imagine what it would be like to actually live there in the times before TV, cell phones, and AI-generated images of Taylor Swift and Greta Thunberg in nazi regalia. However, you need some determination to get there. The highways of Bulgaria are perfectly fine, and better than those that surround the US capital, but the roads closer to the site get a bit dodgy. Be careful and also be alert to local customs. On smaller roads, some Bulgarians will drive in the center, veering into their own lane only when they see oncoming traffic. Though they’re used to this approach, it may create a bit of anxiety or heart palpitations in non-Slavic drivers. You should also know that, unlike American tourist sites, there aren't millions of signs on every square foot. We like that, but as a consequence you won't be easily able to get a sense of what is what. You might hire one of the local guides or download maps to get a better sense of the site's history. Also, plan on making a day of it. You don’t want to rush this experience. Pack a lunch and try your best to take in the whole site. Also, if you see a cute stray dog there with mottled black and white fur, you may even choose to share a bit of your meal with the hungry puppy and maybe give him a cup of cold water, too. Tell him that he is missed.  More amazing ruinous ruins
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Wine-based cocktails seem to be very popular right now. You could throw a rock in any hipster-type bar across the US and hit at least one New York Sour. We thought we’d toss our hat in the ring with our wine-based version of the Vampire’s Kiss. The Vampire’s kiss varies a bit across recipes, but it is a vibrant red cocktail made of cranberry juice, raspberry liqueur, and vodka. We call our version Bathory’s Kiss. So, who is Báthory and what is this drink? Erzsébet (Elizabeth) Báthory(1560 C.E. – 1614 C.E.) was a Hungarian aristocrat and, more importantly, a fascinating person. She is very much a study in contrasts. She was extremely bright and fluent in many languages whilst most of the European world was illiterate. She was also a caring mother and a devout protestant. However, she may also have been the most prolific serial killer of all time with a murder toll somewhere between 50 and 650 young female victims. Erzsébet is probably most well-known for rumors of her supposedly bathing in the blood of her virgin victims to maintain her youth. However, as these reports never came up in trial testimony of the time and only in books from the 1700s, we can safely rule out the veracity of this vampiric tidbit.  A bottle of Slovakian wine from the vineyards of Čachtice castle. Though only one of her many properties, this is where she eventually died. The cellars used to age this wine used to be under her manor house. If the stories are real, she dispatched these young women in gruesome, torturous ways. For example, she was said to have bitten them, drawing blood, and also to have made them strip in the winter while she poured cold water over them, allowing them to slowly succumb to the elements. Some were even more sadistically creative – she was reputed to have lit oil-soaked pieces of paper on fire that were cunningly placed between the poor girls’ toes. However, if the stories are not real, she was the victim of an elaborate witch hunt from up on high (i.e., both the King and Palatine of Hungary were "involved"). In this version, she was arrested because she was extremely wealthy and had many castles and tracts of arable land. The land also had very good vineyards famous in her own time and still active today. Her wines graced the tables of kings. Even worse for Erzsébet, this particular King was in financial debt to her. Thus, getting her out of the way could be a convenient way of, shall we say, raising his Renaissance-era credit score. It wouldn’t hurt to have more good wine to sell, too.  The only roughly contemporary image of Erzsébet Báthory (wikicommons) So, what is the truth? Did a fantastically rich and famous countess murder and brutalize hundreds of girls OR was fake news alive and well in 1610? If you want to get a modern idea of how famous she was, just imagine a combination of Oprah Winfrey and Kate Middleton. Isn’t it extremely strange that we don’t really know for sure? Shouldn’t the historians of the time have tackled this question and left irrefutable proof of her crimes for posterity, or is this all part of a cover-up? Well, lacking firm answers, we can at least enjoy a nice drink as we ponder this historical mystery. If you can find some wine produced at one of Erzsébet's former properties (e.g., Čachtice castle in modern-day Slovakia), well, then all the better.  A Bathory's Kiss to enjoy on a nice spring day while pondering Renaissance-era conspiracies or conspiracy theories. To make our version of a Vampire’s kiss (two cocktails):
-6 oz of a good red wine. We prefer a bold and fruity one (preferably from Čachtice, Slovakia) -2 oz cherry vodka* -2 oz Grand Marnier or triple sec Put all ingredients in a shaker and stir with a bartender’s spoon for 60 rotations with plenty of ice. Strain into a couple of fancy glasses and garnish with a cherry Flavor Notes: This is a quick and flavorful (relatively) low horsepower cocktail that still manages to feel a bit sexy. Being a minimally observant human comes with some consequences. A number of basic questions come into one’s mind, sometimes unexpectedly. For instance, “What is the meaning of life?” “What, if anything, created our infinite universe?” “Why do Swedes love licorice so much?” We probably need to table answers to the first two questions for other posts, though, as the Swedish licorice one takes obvious priority. Licorice is all over Swedish grocery stores. If you throw a rock in any random one of them, you’ll probably hit something with licorice in it (however, be warned that public rock throwing is generally frowned upon by the Swedes). And, please keep in mind that we’re talking about real licorice here, not the ropey red stuff that tastes of chemical strawberries that is more common in US movie theaters. We’re focusing on the black chewy licorice that tends to polarize Americans: you either love it or hate it. Some have also found it “an acquired taste” like stinky cheese or IPA beer.  Close up of Salta Häxor Even stranger for the American palate, a good bit of Swedish licorice is salty. The salt content can be very mild – essentially a flavor enhancer – but in other candies it can be fairly dominant. There’s one brand, salta häxor (i.e., salty witches), that was probably the most intensely salted licorice ever tasted by man or beast. They look like any other black licorice bits, but the soft purple-black candies were coated in what can only be described as finely powdered salt. When you pop one in your mouth you get a nuclear detonation of salt that is soon followed by the soft sweetness of a very well-executed black licorice. To be honest, at first taste they were a bit off-putting but then became addictive. It was sort of like the experience of tasting a way-too-hot hot sauce and then deciding that you needed to keep putting it on every part of your meal. The description of salta häxor “salt for the wicked” seemed very appropriate…  A bag of "Salt for the Wicked" Interestingly, the salt is a bit different from normal table salt. It’s called ammonium chloride and is, in general, more potent. Ammonium chloride was apparently even mixed with licorice root in earlier times as a medicine for coughs. As a warning, though, too much ammonium chloride can be a bad thing. If can cause high blood pressure and may even have a decalcifying effect on bones. But, in small quantities, it is very popular in Scandinavian treats. But licorice isn’t just limited to candies in Sweden. One of the best things we found there were lakrits dates (i.e., licorice dates). These are normal pitted medjool dates coated with a very fine dusting of licorice powder. Yes, we realize this may sound strange, but you should give them a try. They are even more addictive than regular licorice candies, and probably a lot better for you, too. These things are not just found in Sweden, either. You can buy them in Iceland, too. But back to this all-important question… why do the Swedes love licorice so much. In order to get answers, we found an unlikely source: Scandinavian Vogue magazine. According to their interesting article on the topic, the Swedes and other Scandis had a long tradition of salting food in order to preserve it through those long, cold, and dark winter months that happen when you live so far up north. So, in a sense, the ancestors of current Swedes were no stranger to intensely salted food. Further, the Vogue article states that a Scandinavian staple, pickled herring, also has this strange mixture of salty and sweet. One of us has never tasted pickled herring, and the other finds this description of the preserved fish a bit “off”, so we may need some other opinions to properly sus this out.
Regardless, if you don’t live in Sweden, you can order some lakrits from a number of online sources. You could even make your own lakrits dates. Just get a bunch of fresh, shiny looking medjools and dust them with lakrits powder which you can buy in little jars online. Be careful adding any ammonium chloride, though.
- Is the path to hell paved with refreshing Czech pilsner?? - Czechia (i.e., what Czechs call the Czech Republic) is one of our top three favorite countries to visit. It’s an even better destination when you don’t have work to do there, but it is great regardless. If you fancy castles, amazing beer, dumplings, and strange tourist sites, Czechia is difficult to beat. There are so many great castles (hrady) dotted around the country, but one, Houska, is undeniably unique. In many ways Hrad Houska doesn’t make any sense. For instance, most castles are built over a consistent source of water. After all, how terrible would it be to suffer a siege on your castle and have nothing to brew tasty pilsner beer with? Yet, Houska has no source of water except for cisterns to collect rain. Odd… Hrad Houska also lacks a kitchen. So where would a hungry soldier bake bread to enjoy his refreshing pilsner with? Strange… Further, most people building a castle would probably want the defensive side of their walls to face outward. This generally helps if you want to repel invaders. However, Hrad Houska’s defensive walls face inwards. Perplexing…  A highly stylized wood burn of Hrad Houska. All of this seems odd or even illogical until you add the missing premise… it was clearly built to cover up the gateway to hell. Yes, dear readers, a bottomless pit of eldritch danger lurks a mere hour’s drive north of Prague, and under the location of the present-day castle. Oh, the legends that surround this place. The tales speak of half-human, half-animal creatures that would emerge at night from the accursed pit and lay waste to any people unfortunate enough to cross their paths. This situation clearly had to change. It’s bad enough when a megachurch or Applebee’s moves into your neighborhood, let alone a fiery pit to hell. There’s only so much a real estate market can take before property values decline. The locals still speak of how prisoners were used to build the fortress. Builders apparently conscripted one poor convict to be lowered by rope into the accursed chasm. Upon hearing his plaintive screams, they pulled him back up only to find him aged thirty years in as many seconds. His hair turned whiter than Anderson Cooper’s and his skin looked as if he was any elderly Hollywood celebrity in the midst of a month-long Botox shortage. It was terrifying to witness. Even after the castle’s construction, the dark rumors persisted. It was even occupied by Nazis until 1945. We may never know what evil experiments, medical, occult, or otherwise, took place within its cold stone walls.  The chapel and alter directly over the gate to hell. Although faded from centuries of exposure, there are intricate wall paintings all over the site. Now, how much of these fun legends are true? Well, to be fair, there are some alternate histories out there. Some are backed up with historical and archaeological data that describe other motives for the castle’s construction (why do scholars always take the fun out of things… ?). However, we prefer to live in a world where Hrad Houska is our last line of defense from the many horrors of hell. Even better (i.e., a PD film script idea), we hope that, nearby, there lives a secret sect of plucky Czech warrior-poets who risk their lives every day to protect us from the ever-present scourge of demonic half-man beasts. Hopefully there will be no intensification of evil energy or an unexpected earthquake which breaks the castle’s ancient foundations. If so, things could get scary, and we may just see what these Czech warrior poets are willing to sacrifice to save the world. If we can get Christian Bale on board, we might just have a go picture here. Think of the special effects… Getting There Hrad Houska is located about an hour’s drive north of Prague and PRG airport. Anyone – even children, who were particularly tasty to the half-man beasts – can now visit the castle and get a guided tour. Keep in mind that it is closed between November and March. If you travel there in bad weather, please make sure your car has good tires as you will be on some potentially slippery roads. There are ways to get to the castle using public transportation from the airport, but it would take approximately four hours each way and you would still need to walk almost 3 kilometers from your last stop. Thus, we recommend renting a car or taking a very expensive Uber ride instead. You can also bring dogs to the castle with you, and we’re sure they’d enjoy it, but there is a modest fee for canine accompaniment. Once you’re there, the gateway to hell can be found below the chapel, more specifically where the alter now stands. The art adorning the walls is also worth a close look, as you will find depictions of armed soldiers and man-beasts scattered throughout.  Replicate weapons of war on display in the castle. We can only imagine some of these were particularly useful against animal/man beasts. Side Trip Throw a rock in Czech Republic and you’ll hit beer that is better made, and tastier, than 99% of mass produced American beer. Thus, on your way back to Prague, you might consider driving a bit further south to the charming village of Velké Popovice. There, you will find the Kozel Brewery. They also have a great brewing tour (we’ll cover it on the blog at some point). Look for the big goat and you won’t miss it. Just make sure to book the brewery tour ahead of time, especially in the summer. There are English tours, too. Link: https://hradhouska.cz/ Conclusions: This is a very fun day trip from Prague. Whether you like architecture or just enjoying strange sites, we think it’s definitely worth a visit.  Wall painting inside the castle showing a hunting scene. Clearly even normal animals around the castle were dangerous, too. |
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